Miscarriage is god’s version of abortion.

Thought that might get your attention.

Faithful readers – I know this topic has been beaten to death in the blogosphere (and elsewhere), but I cannot help but chime in with my 2 Lincoln cents worth.

I know someone who volunteers for one of those faith-based places that “counsels young women who are pregnant”; i.e., talks unwed mothers (and others) out of having abortions.  This friend believes, absolutely, that life begins at conception (that delicate moment when a man ejaculates inside of a fertile woman and says, “Oh, GOD!  HOLY SHIT!” or something else just as romantic).

I once asked him how he felt about this scenario: a young teenage girl is raped by her father, or brother, or, hell, any man, regardless of who it is, and then this young girl is then impregnated.  Would he expect that young woman to give birth to this child?  His quick answer was, “Well, yes, of course.  She could always give this child up for adoption.  Someone would want that child.”  Heh, yeah.  Tell that to the 143 million orphans in the developing world.

OK, back up – rape of a young woman by any man is bad enough – but incest rape?  That’s gotta take the cake for Most Evil Act.  And to bring that already unwanted, inbred child into the world, complete with his rapist daddy’s genetic makeup, to me, is a sin in itself.  Can you imagine being told that your father is also your grandfather, or uncle, or whatever??  Holy shit, talk about years of therapy to sort that one out.

I guess these pro-lifers don’t care much about the quality of life, only the quantity of it.  Just keep shitting out them kids – and, if those over-fertile parents keep voting Republican as they usually do, then there will be no WIC programs for these kids, or food stamps, or any assistance of any kind, or even enough money for a good, arts-enriched public education (well, only if they’ll play football or be a cheerleader like real American kids).  These wackos usually start giving a shit about kids again when they’re old enough to enlist.  Well, then, they’re heroes – yeah, too bad you threw them under the wheels of the underfunded school bus.

What the pro-lifers fail to acknowledge is that, as Sam Harris put it, god is greatest abortionist of them all – that 20% of all pregnancies miscarry.  That’s a whole lot of baby killin’ going on at the hands of the supposedly benevolent father up in the sky.

Oh yeah – and when I asked my friend, who believes that every pregnancy is god’s will, why god would allow that child to be raped in the first place, he said….. can you guess?

Yep!  You guessed it!  The stock answer: “God works in mysterious ways.”

Yeah, I’ll say. I’ll take Roe v. Wade over that kind of god any day.

A ban on humans!

So, everyone’s freaking out about banks collapsing; about taxpayers having to lend out $770 billion to bail out a bunch of really irresponsible people who were living way above their means and couldn’t make their house payments.  And the list of grievances goes on – urban sprawl, unemployment, depletion of natural resources, water and air pollution, food shortages – the world as we know it is going right down the tubes.

“What do we do?”  everyone shouts.

Well, I think the answer is pretty obvious, don’t you?

STOP BREEDING!

Stop having so many babies, you breeders!  Why do you have to have so many children?  Ladies – who cares if your “biological clock is ticking”?  Why do you have to be so selfish about feeling the joy of motherhood?  And guys – can’t you exert a little “self control” during sex, if you catch my drift?

Don’t you parents realize that every baby human that comes into the world is one more human mammal that needs to be fed, clothed, housed, educated, employed, health-insured, entertained, retired, adult-diapered and then finally embalmed, buried and/or cremated?   Think of all the food, water, fossil fuel, and other myriad resources being used by one human being.  Just think of how much one person throws away in the garbage in any given week.  I live in a small town, and yet the amount of garbage I see at my local transfer station is still so shocking to me.

Oh, but somehow, this is all trumped by how cute the little baby is, and her/his little pink/blue outfits, and witnessing those first coos and first words and first footsteps.  Yeah, all at the expense of their future prospects of life on this fragile planet.  Hey, don’t get me wrong – I love kids.   I’ve even WORKED with kids.  Kids are awesome – but let’s use our heads here, people.  We need LESS humans on the planet!  The efforts to teach people about birth control and family planning should be whole-heartedly supported, especially in Third World countries, where, instead, the stranglehold of Christian missionaries and their insidious ideas about sexual morality and being “open to the possibility of a child” every time the natives fuck have driven out every last shred of common sense and hope for pulling these natives out of the clutches of poverty and despair – and despite wild claims to the contrary, the Baby Jesus ain’t gonna feed all them little bastards’ starving mouths once the missionaries have packed up their Bibles and moved back to North Carolina or Utah or whichever red state where they were bred.

So, I say, when your suburban housewife friend proudly announces the conception of her 5th or even 1st or 2nd child, slap her and tell her she’s helping to destroy the very planet she wishes to populate.  How’s that for a conversation stopper at an otherwise boring baby shower?