Drugs should be legalized. Period.

I’ll tell you why they should be legalized, and then I’ll tell you why we’re still waiting.

I can’t buy a dimebag of pot, which won’t harm anyone – in fact, it will, at most, stimulate my appetite, make TV-watching much more entertaining and perhaps arouse anti-government sentiment and conspiracy theories – but I can pick up a six-pack of Bud pounders, the main ingredient of which is alcohol, a drug which has most likely caused more death, destruction and misery than all narcotics combined. Funny that ol’ Uncle Sam should give his blessing to alcohol – a downer that dumbs you down when you consume any amount of it. But all the drugs that expand your mind and your perception of reality – marijuana, LSD, cocaine, heroin, etc. etc. – are available only by willful criminal activity. The last bastion at the moment is salvia divinorum, a hallucinogen with which I’ve had only a handful of experiences but has produced an expansive and euphoric awareness that I’ve very much enjoyed. So far, it is still legal in most places – only because Big Brother hasn’t caught on to its true essence yet. Mark my words – the days of illegal salvia are coming.

Drugs should be legalized for the purely economic reason that if they are regulated and taxed, then the subsequent revenue could easily wipe out state and national debt. But in the spirit of wanting the average John Q. Taxpayer to arrive home from a day of laboring for The Man and be able to enjoy the expansion of his own mind by chemical means, then I can see no stronger argument for legalization.

Now, I’ve argued with folks before about this theory, to which I always hear the “what about alcoholics?” argument – meaning, of course, that the drunk’s drug of choice is a readily and widely available legal one and that the legalization of these other drugs would make them similarly available, thus producing a society riddled with addicts – to which I say: society is already riddled with addicts – not only due to your typical ennui, but also due in some significant way, I’m sure, to the very demonization assigned to illegal drugs which is meant to frighten us away. Put simply this way – have you ever told a child not to do something and then the child goes and does it anyway? Every parent knows by heart the fact that admonishment of this sort doesn’t work. You vilify something, you say “Don’t touch” or “Don’t do this” and it makes the idea of doing that much more exciting and dangerous and desirable. Sure, drugs are addictive – so are coffee and chocolate and nail-biting and relationships and masturbation – anything is capable of forming a habit in the human brain. As long as there is a psychological need to be filled by some substance, the nature of the substance itself is immaterial.

I think we’ll be waiting a very long time for Rite Aid brand marijuana because as long as the masses are kept busy with things that dumb us all down – alcohol, cigarettes, baseball, NASCAR, CNN, American Idol, etc. etc. – then we won’t revolt and demand something better and more stimulating.