So, some asshole burned down the Grand View Coffee Shop.


Owner Donald Crabtree had just been before the local planning board that very evening to seek approval for expanding his business into a full-on strip club, but was rudely awakened – literally and figuratively – by the vengeful flames that completed destroyed his business at 1:00 a.m. on Wednesday.

What do you want to bet that the arsonist is some religious nutcase who thinks that women ought to be barefoot, pregnant and demure and that this type of blatant immorality is a slap in god’s face and is harmful to our children and is the downfall of civilization and is a sign of the end times and blah blah blah…?

Mr. Crabtree says he intends to rebuild.  I say good for him.  People are always going to like coffee and doughnuts, but what is also true – and what the pious flock need to get through their brainwashed little pea-brain noggins – is that people like to look at bare breasts, too.

I’m not sure who elected this woman to be the moral compass for all of humanity – oh wait, she appointed herself (must be a religious nut – that complex seems to run rampant among the devout) – but JoAn Karkos has been causing quite a stir with her little crusade against the children’s book “It’s Perfectly Normal” by award-winning children’s author Robie Harris.

Karkos, a tax-paying resident of the city of Lewiston, Maine, walked into both the Auburn and Lewiston public libraries last year and checked out their copies of this book, with no intention of ever returning them.  In fact, she was quite forthright about this – she wrote a letter to each library, included a check to each to cover the cost of the books, and claimed that the books are pornographic, and that they should not be read by anyone.

Wouldn’t that be like me shoplifting an ugly pair of pants from a store, then sending the store a note and check for them?  (P.S. I’m a total fucking smegtard.)

Her note to Rick Speer, director of the Lewiston Public Library, reads as follows:

Mr. Rick Speer,

It is with great disappointment to discover that American Public Libraries do not have adequate discernment of books appropriate for youth to read.”

It’s Perfectly Normal” is a book I rented from both the Lewiston and the Auburn public libraries. As warned, the book is extremely offensive to the dignity of person hood. Since I have been sufficiently horrified of the illustrations and the sexually graphic amoral abnormal contents, I will not be returning the books. Therefore, enclosed to your library is a ckeck for $20.95, the cost plus tax for purchase price of the book.

I suspect the overseers who reason what is acceptable for youth to read might not be interested in my detailed list of objections to this so-called children’s material — this is unacceptable material that even adults find offensive. However, feel free to contact me if you desire.

JoAnn Karkos

She has, of course, ignited a huge media circus in Maine, or what accounts for a media circus in such a rural place.  As of this writing, a judge has ordered Karkos to pay $100 in fines and to return the book by Friday, August 29th at 4 p.m., or she will be arrested.

I am quite certain that this woman believes she is a modern-day civilly disobedient Thoreau wannabe; she even said as much as she was leaving the courtroom.

OK, I’m all for people sticking their neck out for what they believe.  But this woman is just plain nuts, believing that she is doing god’s work by stirring up all this controversy – which, ironically, has only sparked more interest in this book. (Fervor isn’t always thought out well by those in the midst of it. )

Doesn’t this wrinkled woman understand that most kids know all this shit already?  That every ride on the school bus can be a sort of sex ed lesson, talking about pee-pees and hearing all the older kids in back talk about blow jobs and hand jobs and you name it?  Where would she prefer that children get their sex ed, from the fucking Bible, which advocates incest and rape?  Where’s the dignity in that?  In her own words, Karkos says that “bashfulness is a natural protection for children… and when that is violated, they’re much more open to predators.”  A book is violating some sense of bashfulness? What fucking planet is she living on??  I’d say that the kid who doesn’t know shit about sex and doesn’t really know what is OK or not OK for them is, most likely, a child of religious wackos and/or an altar boy, who’s never been talked to about it by their red-faced parents and is more open to predators than those kids who know what’s up and are in touch with their bodies and their feelings.  If any entity has ever attached shame to sexuality, the all-time winner would be religion, period.  Wouldn’t we rather that the facts about sex and sexuality be presented plainly, and let all the dumbshit parents of the world inject their own sense of morality into it, whatever the flavor might be, without imposing that morality on the rest of us, for chrissake??

I am torn, because as much as I’d like to see this bifocaled bitch should get thrown in the slammer for being more dangerous to society than all of the drug dealers already unfortunate enough to be in there – I also think that because this woman wants to go to jail in some public stand in defense of morality (ho hum), then she shouldn’t be given that satisfaction.

What d’y’all think?

Here’s something else that should be legalized everywhere besides Sin City – prostitution.

Think about it – why should it be illegal for someone to pay someone else for sex? I mean, you don’t necessarily hire a novice plumber to fix your leaky sink.  If all you want is sex, why not hire someone to satisfy you if it’s something the prostitute happens to have quite a lot of experience doing?

And how is that any different from some blonde gold-digger bimbo entrancing some old sugar daddy with a lot of scratch? (Remember Anna Nicole Smith?) Or some guy spending a lot of money on his date, and then that date feeling somewhat obliged to put out? In that case, there is a lot of gray area there – lots of potential for misunderstanding. With prostitution it’s very cut and dry – you are paying someone for their expertise. Where’s the misunderstanding in that?

With all the pressures that most people are under, is a little release too much to ask for in this world? Apparently so.

Why isn’t it legal? Once again, religion is to blame. It has reared its disgusting head over all things sexual since time immemorial, wielding its claims of god’s round-the-clock Big Brother-style celestial surveillance, purporting that this same god figure actually cares about what we do with our own genitalia. And since most human mammals blindly accept this as fact, fear about partaking of any “immoral” sexual behavior ensues; hence, shame has been attached to all things sexual in nature, wherein any frank and open discussion about sex anywhere is reduced to giggles and reddened cheeks.