Catching up on belly-aching.

December 16, 2009

Well, faithful readers, needless to say, I’ve been a bit distracted lately by other things.   But don’t you worry – there is no shortage of vitriol in this latest installment.  I’ll need to hit a few topics, so pardon the wandering.

1.  First of all, it is of course the Christmas season, probably my least favorite time of the year.  Why, do you ask?  Because of how arbitrary and soul-sucking it truly is.  Think about it – you, like millions of others, are probably stressing about what to buy for whom, where to buy it, how much it will cost, how you can’t afford it, while standing in line at lifeless box stores thinking about it all, and why?  Because once upon a time, some religious nutcases decided to celebrate some kid’s birthday around the same time that a bunch of pagans were being burned at the stake for celebrating the winter solstice?  Give me a fucking break.  Christmas is complete and utter bullshit.  Do what I did and drop out altogether – and enjoy the time off with the people you love the most without feeling obligated.  Life is way too short for that kind of shit.

2.  Who gives a shit about Tiger fucking Woods?  I don’t.  So he cheated on his wife.  Big fucking deal.  A lot of guys do.   Gals, too.  That’s because monogamy  is a wholly unrealistic expectation that humans place on each other.  So, let’s all admit that we’re human and we like to fuck each other, sometimes without the presence of love and romance.   And because of his actions, Tiger’s sponsors are pulling out (so to speak, heh).  Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.  You don’t think the CEOs of some of these hotshot companies don’t have a line of mistresses pulling down their stockings outside their office doors?  Puhleeze.

3.  Obama gets the Nobel PEACE Prize and then says “Hey, let’s send a shitload more troops to Afghanistan.  I think it will work.”  Yeah, that makes fucking sense.  Whatever happened to “you cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war”?  Oh wait, that was Einstein who said that.  A fucking genius.   I’ve been regretting my vote for Obama for some time now, but hey – at least he’s not McCain.  Ain’t democracy grand?

4.  Some 8 year old kid in Massachusetts got sent home from school this week for drawing a picture of Jesus on the cross with Xs on the eyes.   The class was asked to draw something pertaining to the holidays, and this is what he came up with.  Wrong holiday, kid – that’s the bloodthirst-quenching holiday of Easter you depicted.  You missed it by a few months.  Ah well.  He was inspired by a recent family visit to some wacko Christian retreat in his neck of the woods.  The school want to have him psychologically evaluated because of the “violent” nature of his drawing.   Well, duh!  I think anyone who fixates on some dead dude nailed to a cross ought to have their head examined.  And people are just starting to the figure this out now?   That perhaps we shouldn’t be exposing our children to this kind of religious mind-fuckery?  Christopher Hitchens calls it child abuse for a reason, folks.

Well, that’s it for now.  Maybe I’ll be back again soon.  Stay tuned.

So, this is it folks – the high point of the Christian calendar year – both the pinnacle and foundation of the Christian faith itself.  Easter Sunday.  That day where we all pause and reflect on the anguish of that one man 2000+ years ago, and the miracle of his rising victorious even over that which we mere mortals can only hope to conquer.

Oh yeah, and kids eat a lot of fucking candy and adults eat lots of ham and those people who begrudgingly go to church twice a year dust off their suits and pastel dresses and wipe the chocolate off the kids’ faces and go do their church duty.  Some of those kids even get a cute little pet bunny which they will, most likely, end up hating and giving away to someone else or releasing into the woods behind their house or just merely allow to starve to death in the garage.  Spoiled little brats.

You know what I’ve never fully understood about Easter?  The way in which it is observed.  Sure, I can understand the parallel between the alleged resurrection and the rebirth of life in spring time.  But… to observe the very underpinnings of the Christian faith on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox?  How much more pagan can you get than that?   I know, I know, the reason that this and the Christmas holiday are observed the way they are has its historical roots in smoking out the wiccans and pagans and bringing them over to the Good News side of things.  But I mean, come on… you’ve got all these biblical scholars and theologians and the like that have studied this shit for centuries and you mean to tell me that they don’t know exactly when this great miracle of Jesus’s resurrection actually took place?  They can’t even get a rough idea?

Hmm… maybe that’s because it’s all a myth – a really nice story that makes some people feel better about themselves and about the apparent meaninglessness of our random existence – a myth that parallels nicely with the real miracle that is the vernal equinox, the constant struggle of life against death – and how, for instance, up through the cracks in a city sidewalk, little green shoots still find the sun, still find what they need to survive, thrive, and keep returning, year after year.  To me, this is a much more reverent and much more beautiful image upon which to meditate than some martyr being nailed to a couple of logs.

Enjoy this photo, taken from my favorite website of the week.  And Happy Spring, you infidels!!


All bark, no bite.

June 5, 2008

In an effort to keep my (anonymous) name in good standing, I would like to simply point out that, although I attack the evils of religion (and there are many) with great gusto, I don’t want you to think for one moment that I am some heartless bastard, as some folks have all too happily pointed out to me.

On the contrary! Here are some rather touchy-feely, hippy-dippy things that I really love (and some links to boot!): piano music, poetry, flowers, art, vegan cuisine, Rocky Mountain National Park, wide open spaces – oh my friends, I could go on and on! (There are also lots of darker things I enjoy, as well – perhaps we’ll save those for another post.)

It’s not uncommon for us atheists to withstand these types of character attacks from Christians. Aren’t these the same people who claim to follow the words of Jesus, who said things like “turn the other cheek” and all that Sermon on the Mount stuff? I mean, what is with these people? It’s either “eye for an eye” ultra-vindictiveness or it’s “love thy neighbor as thyself” ultra-compassion. Sounds like some sort of collective bi-polar disorder. Don’t they have medications for that?

Anyway, to make it short and simple, I want you all to know that I really am a nice person who doesn’t eat barbecued babies for breakfast or knock over Nativity scenes at Christmas time or marry off teenage girls to old pervos.

Carry on!