Catching up on belly-aching.

December 16, 2009

Well, faithful readers, needless to say, I’ve been a bit distracted lately by other things.   But don’t you worry – there is no shortage of vitriol in this latest installment.  I’ll need to hit a few topics, so pardon the wandering.

1.  First of all, it is of course the Christmas season, probably my least favorite time of the year.  Why, do you ask?  Because of how arbitrary and soul-sucking it truly is.  Think about it – you, like millions of others, are probably stressing about what to buy for whom, where to buy it, how much it will cost, how you can’t afford it, while standing in line at lifeless box stores thinking about it all, and why?  Because once upon a time, some religious nutcases decided to celebrate some kid’s birthday around the same time that a bunch of pagans were being burned at the stake for celebrating the winter solstice?  Give me a fucking break.  Christmas is complete and utter bullshit.  Do what I did and drop out altogether – and enjoy the time off with the people you love the most without feeling obligated.  Life is way too short for that kind of shit.

2.  Who gives a shit about Tiger fucking Woods?  I don’t.  So he cheated on his wife.  Big fucking deal.  A lot of guys do.   Gals, too.  That’s because monogamy  is a wholly unrealistic expectation that humans place on each other.  So, let’s all admit that we’re human and we like to fuck each other, sometimes without the presence of love and romance.   And because of his actions, Tiger’s sponsors are pulling out (so to speak, heh).  Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.  You don’t think the CEOs of some of these hotshot companies don’t have a line of mistresses pulling down their stockings outside their office doors?  Puhleeze.

3.  Obama gets the Nobel PEACE Prize and then says “Hey, let’s send a shitload more troops to Afghanistan.  I think it will work.”  Yeah, that makes fucking sense.  Whatever happened to “you cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war”?  Oh wait, that was Einstein who said that.  A fucking genius.   I’ve been regretting my vote for Obama for some time now, but hey – at least he’s not McCain.  Ain’t democracy grand?

4.  Some 8 year old kid in Massachusetts got sent home from school this week for drawing a picture of Jesus on the cross with Xs on the eyes.   The class was asked to draw something pertaining to the holidays, and this is what he came up with.  Wrong holiday, kid – that’s the bloodthirst-quenching holiday of Easter you depicted.  You missed it by a few months.  Ah well.  He was inspired by a recent family visit to some wacko Christian retreat in his neck of the woods.  The school want to have him psychologically evaluated because of the “violent” nature of his drawing.   Well, duh!  I think anyone who fixates on some dead dude nailed to a cross ought to have their head examined.  And people are just starting to the figure this out now?   That perhaps we shouldn’t be exposing our children to this kind of religious mind-fuckery?  Christopher Hitchens calls it child abuse for a reason, folks.

Well, that’s it for now.  Maybe I’ll be back again soon.  Stay tuned.

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Black Friday indeed.

November 29, 2008

Poor Jdimytai Damour.  Who’s that, you ask?  Oh, just some lowly temp worker at a Long Island Wal-Mart who was trampled to death by a crowd of 2,000 early morning Black Friday shoppers this weekend.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?  How in the hell does something like this happen?

I could see it if there were some real emergency.  2,000 people trying to exit a burning building all at once.  Chaos.  People fighting for the very lives.  But a bunch of over-caffeinated, turkey-stuffed, credit-card wielding suburbanites trying to buy a Wii or a 72 inch plasma TV?  That’s not an emergency, folks – that’s just bullshit materialism.

I know it’s hard to fathom or even believe, and we would have been able to see video captured on a witness’s cellphone on YouTube, but “[t]his video has been removed due to terms of use violation.”  I’ll bet the head honchos at Wally World had a little something to do with that.

These deal-seeking fuckers broke down the glass doors of this Wal-Mart store like baited, caged animals.  The New York Times even reported that, when customers were told of Damour’s death, “people were yelling, ‘I’ve been on line since yesterday morning’,” after which “they just kept shopping.”  They had been gathering for hours before the opening time of 5:00 a.m., chomping at the bit for bargains on, largely, shit made in China to be given out at what has become a secular, material-centered holiday to people either don’t really want the shit or will exchange the shit for something else equally as frivolous and unnecessary.

Don’t misunderstand my tone too much, however – I don’t mind that Christmas has become less focused on the baby Jesus.  (Just an aside – it’s laughable, actually, that the most devout people I know are also the most decorative, with their giant Christmas trees and wreaths, apparently not minding – or, more probably, largely ignorant of – the very pagan and anti-Christian origins of such “hanging of the greens” customs.)  What I do mind that all of us are in such desperate and insatiable need for stuff that tragic things like this can happen.  There is a reason I don’t celebrate Christmas or any holidays anymore, for that matter.  At the risk of sounding a little like those religious wackos I’m always making fun of, I think we’ve missed the entire point of holidays.  Gift-giving is great when it is sincere.  We shouldn’t need some arbitrary date in December or any other month of the year to remind us to show our love to and share whatever wealth we may have with those who are closest to us.  But our TV ad culture has drummed it into us that we must buy buy buy – at the expense of our dignity and, in this sad case, the very life of one Mr. Damour.