Boy, I am really torn on this one, folks.  A judge has decided that it’s legally OK to take drugs if you believe in the god of an Ashland, OR church.

By now, readers of this blog are quite familiar with my views on both religion and drug legalization.  Why the world had to go and combine these two bits of fuckery is beyond me at the moment, but, ah shit, c’est la vie.

So, let me get this straight – if I espouse to believe in god, and show up at the doorsteps of the Church of the Holy Light of the Queen, I can get some tea laced with dimethyltryptamine?  Damn, almost sounds like it’s worth signing up for!

I read in the Oregonian that  “[t]he church, which blends Christian and indigenous religious beliefs in Brazil, uses tea brewed from the ayahuasca plant in their services” and “the tea is the central ritual and sacrament of the religion where members believe ‘only by taking the tea can a church member have direct experience with Jesus Christ’.”

Yeah, we’ve heard that type of shit before, right?  From your favorite pot-head friends?  “Dude, this shit helps me, you know, think and stuff, expand my mind and shit.”  Don’t misunderstand me – the drug laws in this country should be swept out the door, which would allow your favorite pot-head friend to get high at his own leisure without unnecessary fear of retribution, would clean up the jails and would free up the police to pursue real criminals, like pedophile priests.

So why should the religious wackos get to have some hallucinogenic fun while us non-believers get busted for buying, selling or possessing the same shit?  On the one hand, I am thrilled that the courts are seeing a reason why drug laws should be circumvented (we non-religious devotees have been screaming this from the hilltops for years).  But on the other hand, we’re seeing that, because we’re all so terrified to stand up to religion, we just bend the rules, hand out a free pass and call it the Religious Freedom Restoration Act so that the Native Americans can have their peyote and these hippy dippies in Oregon can have their Daime tea.   Fine, let ’em have it, I say, but I also say, let us all have access to the same mind expansion without having to believe in gods and spirits and other imaginary creatures.  One Oregonian reader’s comment to the online story stated that the only hallucination here is a separation of church and state.  Amen to that.

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In fact, I think he really sucks.

I really miss Conan on Late Night.

I hope the West Coast doesn’t beat the quirkiness out of him.

1.  The Roman Catholic Church did not officially acknowledge that the Earth revolves around the sun until the mid 1990s.  Isn’t that just mind-boggling?

2.  Pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, KS has conducted “over 40,089 peaceful demonstrations (to date) opposing the fag lifestyle of soul-damning, nation-destroying filth”.  What a prick.  He’s probably a closet fag himself.

3.  The Southern Baptist Convention asserts that “[a] wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ”.  Blah blah blah.

4. Latter-day prophets strongly discourage the tattooing of the body.  Those who disregard this counsel show a lack of respect for themselves and for God”.  Yeah, try getting away with that line of bullshit in your neighborhood biker bar.

5.  L. Ron Hubbard, the science-fiction author turned founder of Scientology, once said: “Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion.”  Well, at least, as scoundrels go, he’s honest.

6.  Once… there were these bunch of Muslims, and they, like, decided to hijack some airplanes and they, like, killed all these people and totally made a mess of downtown NYC, because they, like, thought they’d get some virgins and olives in heaven and shit like that.

7.  The Catholics believe that Jesus was born to a woman who had never engaged in sexual intercourse.  We seem to take this one for granted, but it still never ceases to astound me.

8.  If I drive a Mazda, does that make me a Zoroastrian?


The man never sleeps.

March 12, 2009

So, we’ve got the upcoming Faith No More reunion tour to look forward to (that is, if you live in Europe – the rest of us will have to wait for shitty, wobbly cell phone YouTube videos).   Then there’s Mondo Cane:

and Fantomas:

and Peeping Tom:

and a zillion other projects.

But now he’s just scored his first feature film.  I guess I know what I’ll be doing on April 17th.

My life as a M.P.F.

March 10, 2009

Here we go again.  This stylish son of a bitch is hands down the best vocalist in any genre that ever lived, IMHO.  And these guys are getting back together!!!! – however briefly, and not even on this side of the Atlantic.  Still, that is some of the best news I’ve heard in ages.  Meanwhile, enjoy this little nugget, featuring the song of the day that I cannot get out of my head to save my life.

The English language is really quite fascinating.  It’s got a lot of stupid, arbitrary, ever-changing rules.  It’s also got lots of words that sound dirty that aren’t.  Got any to add?  Here’s just a partial list:

moist

exacerbate

rectify

penalize

masticate

angina

But my favorite non-dirty word of all?

Kumquat.

My favorite video of the day.  What makes this video so great is, at first, I had no idea whether this was real or parody.  You’ll quickly figure it out, unless, of course, you’re stupid.  Heh.  This video is absolutely brilliant!

Enjoy, you fiendish monsters!!