Well, he’s done itDonald Crabtree has reopened his Grand View Coffee Shop in Vassalboro, Maine, much to the delight of coffee-, freedom- and booby-lovers everywhere.  Granted, his new digs are an office trailer… but who cares? The coffee is flowing, the donuts are glazed, and the women are topless.  Every straight man’s dream, right?

I actually heard a wrinkled, humorless old woman on Wednesday night’s local news say that she thinks Don and his shirtless staff should go “someplace else” like New York or Boston.   Ah, fuck her.  Check out the broadcast here:

http://www.wmtw.com/video/21591387/index.html

While the arsonist who burned down the original shop remains at large (prudish bastard!), it’s heartening to know that Mr. Crabtree is bound and determined to keep plowing ahead.  I say good for him, and good for coffee-, freedom- and booby-lovers everywhere.

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So, we had a chance in the state of Maine to live up to our Latin motto: “Dirigo”, meaning “I direct”.

Clearly not a mandate, but a victory for homophobia nonetheless, 53 percent of Maine’s voters repealed the same-sex marriage on Tuesday.  The shame I feel for my home state is almost more than I can express.

We had the chance to show the rest of the nation that it doesn’t matter what consenting adults choose to do with their genitals and how that choice informs who they’d like to marry and share a house and a car and mortgage and a checkbook and a bathroom and a life with.  We had the chance to stand up and say, “Everyone deserves equal protection under the law in regards to marriage.”  We had the chance to stand up to the bible-thumpers and the voyeurs and the peeping toms and the hateful bigots and the scaredy-cats and say, “Enough is enough!”

We had the chance, but did we blow it?  This time, maybe.

But this fight, like any other, will take time.  It will take time for people to accept the idea that not everyone makes love in the same manner.  It will take time for people to warm up to the idea of allowing men to marry men and women to marry women.  This may be the end of this particular campaign, but this is certainly not the end of the story.  Like any other civil rights fight, this one will be largely uphill, and will have to be won one conversation, one heart, one mind at a time.

Just listen to this guy.  He’s got it right:

There has been a fierce debate in my state of Maine lately, about – what else? – gay marriage.  Our Guvna recently signed into law the equality in marriage that our gay neighbors deserve, and then the bible-thumpers got enough sheep to sign their little petitions to present the following referendum question on next month’s ballot:

Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to perform these marriages?

The “yes on 1” people have turned this into a scare-tactic fest, with warnings of “teaching homosexuality in the schools” if the law stands.  What the fuck are these people smoking?

If you’re a regular to this blog, then you already know how I feel about gay marriage.   But I’ve been thinking about these Yes on 1 wackos quite a lot lately, as they infiltrate my living room with the slime oozing out from my TV set.

Let me get this straight, good Christians – you believe that every human being has a soul and, depending on how one conducts their life, the soul will leave one’s physical body and go to heaven or to hell.  One of the motivations you have as good Christians in this gay marriage debate is to save these poor, sinful homos from themselves and try to help them see the error of their despicable ways.  Man shall not lie down with man, blah blah blah.

Each of us is born as either male or female (or sometimes a little of both).   If I understand the Christian way of thinking (Christian thinking, now there’s an oxymoron for you) then the soul of each person is also either male or female.  (Must be so – why else would these religious wackos have their knickers in such a twist?)  So, good Christians, riddle me this – what about those people who have a sex change operation?  What about a woman who lives her life as a lesbian, then has a sex change operation to become a man and then marries a woman?  I personally know one such person for whom this has been life’s lot.   Did this person change the gender of their soul?  Could one argue that this woman saw the sinfulness of her ways living as a lesbian and decided to become a heterosexual man?  Is this person going to heaven or hell when he/she dies?  And will the soul of this person be as it was from birth, or at the time of death?   If the physical and the spiritual are separate, then fornication and other such activities of human genitalia are of no importance, or they shouldn’t be.

It’s ridiculous, ain’t it?  Ah yes, just another of the myriad ways in which we can all see how silly and ignorant and backwards it is that we have allowed government to be more important than love.  So let’s keep Big Brother and his bible out of the bedroom already, alright?

Victory for lovers of boobs and bean juice the world over – Donald Crabtree was granted permission on Tuesday night to rebuild his controversial Grand View Coffee Shop.

The Vassalboro town planning board gave it the A-OK.  And I say good for him.  He’s been handed a few conditions that he must meet to satisfy the town officials, but folks – jugs and java are still a go for this rural Maine town.

So sit back, relax with a cup of joe, and say “Hell yeah!”

And now if we could just find the bastard who burned the place down and string him up by his balls.  Because you know it was some religious nutcase guy who is so brainwashed by the church that he actually believes some invisible man in the sky gives a shit about whether or not you look at naked boobies while you drink coffee and eat donuts.

You just can’t make this shit up.

I’d bet my left arm that the arsonist who burned down the Grand View Coffee Shop was in the crowd at Monday night’s special town meeting in Vassalboro, Maine.  At the meeting, residents voted overwhelmingly to restrict new adult businesses in their quaint little town.  Some folks even wanted an outright ban on adult businesses – but the town warned all those holier-than-thou folks that such an ordinance could leave the town vulnerable to lawsuits.  Gotta guard that precious tax revenue, after all.

I bet all those nearly 400 people who voted in favor of the new ordinance felt so good about themselves: “We’ll teach that no good Crabtree not to bring immorality and indecency to our little town.”  Yeah, torch his business and then make a new rule.  Nah nah n-nah nah, middle finger extended, yada yada…

Oh, but wait – it gets better.

The town’s selectmen have already decided that Crabtree’s business, if and when he rebuilds, would be grandfathered – so long as he builds just what he had before, which was your average, run-of-the-mill topless coffee and donut shop.

Take THAT, you pious nosy fuckers!

So, let me get this straight – these prudish wackos have made a new rule that will basically help Crabtree’s business – he will have a monopoly, however small, in his town on adult-oriented business.  This will actually make his business even more unique and desirable – and, as a result, it will bring even more of these immoral riff raff types into the town who enjoy coffee like they enjoy their women – with boobs.

The crazy thing is if the waitstaff at the Grand View were male, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.  At all.  What the fuck is up with that?


So, some asshole burned down the Grand View Coffee Shop.

grandview

Owner Donald Crabtree had just been before the local planning board that very evening to seek approval for expanding his business into a full-on strip club, but was rudely awakened – literally and figuratively – by the vengeful flames that completed destroyed his business at 1:00 a.m. on Wednesday.

What do you want to bet that the arsonist is some religious nutcase who thinks that women ought to be barefoot, pregnant and demure and that this type of blatant immorality is a slap in god’s face and is harmful to our children and is the downfall of civilization and is a sign of the end times and blah blah blah…?

Mr. Crabtree says he intends to rebuild.  I say good for him.  People are always going to like coffee and doughnuts, but what is also true – and what the pious flock need to get through their brainwashed little pea-brain noggins – is that people like to look at bare breasts, too.

More jugs and java.

May 26, 2009

This just in – police are hot on the trail of a waitress who was caught in her work uniform outside of the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop.  Apparently, the woman was seen outside of the shop – GASP! – not wearing a top.

Am I missing something here?  What’s there to investigate?  The woman works at the Grand View, so obviously that means she doesn’t wear a top.   Hence the TOPLESS part of TOPLESS COFFEE SHOP.  So she stepped outside for a moment.  Does the D.A. really need to get involved with this?  The report reads, “A state trooper was sent to investigate.”  Yeah, and I’m sure he was loath to the task, too.

So, it’s OK to be topless indoors (as well it should) but not outside?  Men enjoy the right to walk around in public without a shirt.  Why not women?  Seriously, why not women? Aren’t the six-pack abs or shapely pecs on a man as much of a turn-on as a pair of women’s breasts?  Call me stupid, but I really don’t understand why we are so prudish in this society.