Death Row Eye

Did you hear about this guy?  Andre Thomas was arrested for the fatal stabbings of his estranged wife, Laura Christine Boren, 20, and their son, 4-year-old Andre Lee, and Laura’s  13-month-old daughter, Leyha Marie Hughes, in March 2004.  Not only did he stab these poor bastards, but he ripped their hearts out.  That’s pretty hardcore.  In fact, he walked right into the Sherman Police Department and told a dispatcher he had just murdered the three and had stabbed himself in the chest.

It gets better – Thomas told police how he put the hearts in his pocket and left their apartment, took them home, put them in a plastic bag and threw them in the trash.  What an animal, eh?  But get this – while he was awaiting trial, he plucked out one of his eyeballs. Perhaps to bolster his insanity defense?  Who knows what this wacko was thinking.  Anyway, it didn’t sway the judge, who found him competent enough to stand trial, and stand trial he did – needless to say, he’s been on death row in his home state of Texas ever since.  We know how much them Texans love to fry the bastards!

So, last month, while being treated in the prison psychiatric unit, he decided to pluck out his remaining eye – and he told authorities that he ate the fucking thing!  No date has been set for his execution, and his lawyers are glad that he’s now finally getting the mental health attention that they claim he has needed “from day one”.  Who knows if the guy is really crazy, or if he was just pissed that she left him and had a baby with some other dude.

Just another day in America, eh?

I don’t know whether it’s the extremes we’ve been having in the weather up here in the Northeast that have been fucking with me or if the Republican mind-fuck is working it’s magic on me, but I have completely had it up to here with billion dollar bailouts and stimuli.

$780,000,000,000.  That’s a lot of fucking scratch, folks.  This “money” is supposed to stimulate the economy. Yeah, maybe right now, but what about our grandkids?  How are they going to feel inheriting this kind of debt?  I’ve known plenty of people who live their lives like this.  It’s called living beyond your means.  Being house poor.  Living on credit.  Having lots of shit around – nice car, nice house, nice clothes, nice everything – but not really owning any of it.

Do I feel sad that people are getting their homes taken from them?  Well, quite honestly, it depends.  Were you honestly making your payments every month without fail and then your spouse died or the factory closed and you are really stuck?  Then yes, I feel sad and would agree that you got dealt a lousy hand.  But – did you get in over your head in debt because you were too busy sucking at the teat of the promise and euphoric wonder of “the American Dream” to read the fine print on the contract that the predatory broker convinced you to sign?  Then no, I don’t feel quite as sad.  Does that make me a bastard?  Perhaps, but hey – I own my home, don’t carry any credit card debt, car payment, or school loans.  Debt free, baby.  And I’ve got money saved.  Call me un-American – but that’s how this mind chooses to roll.  And I wasn’t born into money.  I had to work my ass off to get to where I’m at.  But I wasn’t born into any sense of entitlement, either.  Just because I’m an American doesn’t mean I’m entitled to a piece of the American dream.  I gotta work for it.  I’m a frugal Maine-iac.  If there’s some little trinket that I want that I can’t afford, I save until I can.  If I ran my checkbook the way this country does, I’d be in white collar prison.

Even little ol’ Maine is supposed to get nearly a billion dollars out of this stimulus deal.  Sure, some roads and bridges that badly need it will get fixed, and a few schools won’t have to have as many bake sales.  But then what?  Seriously, THEN WHAT?  Everyone’s lives will suddenly be better?  Jobs will miraculously be created?  Why?  Oh yeah, to start generating tax revenue in some feeble attempt to pay back a trillion dollars in debt.  Obama et al seem to suffer from a distinct strain of Democratitis, the kind that leads people to believe that if you throw money at something, then it will get better.  Sure, maybe right now, but what are the LONG TERM side effects of a stimulus package like this?  And isn’t this forcing us all to put a tremendous amount of faith in the government to help us?  I don’t know about you, but I don’t trust the government to do what’s best for me.  I really don’t.  Supporters say it’s a lot better than doing nothing.  Is it?  I just heard on NPR that despite all this money wrangling, unemployment is still expected to rise to as much as 8.5 to 8.8 percent!!  That’s unacceptable!  So yeah, let’s throw a bunch of borrowed money at the problem and let’s see if that works.  I’ll admit that the Republicans are too quick to poo-poo the entire idea (save the 2 “moderates” from my own state) but I almost have to agree with them.  Are we really thinking this through?  What if you or I lived like this, constantly borrowing money and living on credit?  There is always a day of reckoning, and I fear the same will happen on a national scale with the package that is being implemented now.

But what the fuck do I know?  I am just one of many middle class stiffs who are footing the fucking bill.

… the state senator from Utah, Chris Buttars.

Direct quote: “What is the morals of a gay person? You can’t answer that because anything goes.”  (He must have been in the same English grammar class as Dubya.)

This prick is saying that gays pose the greatest threat to America.

Yeah, never mind Iran or Tehran or North Korea or China.  We should be more worried about Bruce and Trevor and their immoral butt sex.

Give me a fucking break.

Does this prick have the right to state his opinion?  Absolutely.  Should he apologize?  Well, as a state senator, he should be speaking on behalf of his constituency.   If every single person within his charge feels exactly the way he does, then OK, he can say those things.  But, chances are, not every one of them is living in the biblical dark ages like he is.  (Well, we are talking about Utah here.  Heh, sorry Mark.)

So, Chris?  Go fuck yourself.  Or better yet, go fuck one of your dashing young pages.  We know you types really want to, deep down.

This is why you’re fat.

February 10, 2009

Here are a few choice photos from my favorite website of the day.  Enjoy, and go check out the rest of the pictures on that website, you fat fucks!!
Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheddar Cheeseburgers

Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheddar Cheeseburgers

Candied Bacon Ice Cream

Candied Bacon Ice Cream

Gregory’s 120 Ounce Steak

Gregory’s 120 Ounce Steak

Tombstone Deep Dish Pizza Vending Machine

Tombstone Deep Dish Pizza Vending Machine

The Double Bacon Hamburger Fatty Melt  Three bacon-stuffed grilled cheese sandwichs for buns, cheese, bacon and two four-ounce beefs patties.

The Double Bacon Hamburger Fatty Melt. Three bacon-stuffed grilled cheese sandwiches for buns, cheese, bacon and two four-ounce beef patties.

Up in smoke.

February 3, 2009

Patrick Swayze says he is fighting for his life.  That he wants to beat cancer more than anything else.  “I am alive and plan on continuing to stay that way,” he told People magazine.

Oh, is that right, Patrick?

Well how about you STOP FUCKING SMOKING?!?!

Honestly, I cannot understand these people.  “Oh, I am so health conscious.  I really want to be healthy.  Look, I bought an organic carrot today” and yet they’ll wash it down with a pint of chocolate ice cream and then suck down a pack of Camel straights.

Swayze is full of shit, folks.  If you really wanna beat the cancer, you gotta give up the cancer sticks.

Dirty dancing douchebag.

Oh, and look out, American Idol!