I’d bet my left arm that the arsonist who burned down the Grand View Coffee Shop was in the crowd at Monday night’s special town meeting in Vassalboro, Maine.  At the meeting, residents voted overwhelmingly to restrict new adult businesses in their quaint little town.  Some folks even wanted an outright ban on adult businesses – but the town warned all those holier-than-thou folks that such an ordinance could leave the town vulnerable to lawsuits.  Gotta guard that precious tax revenue, after all.

I bet all those nearly 400 people who voted in favor of the new ordinance felt so good about themselves: “We’ll teach that no good Crabtree not to bring immorality and indecency to our little town.”  Yeah, torch his business and then make a new rule.  Nah nah n-nah nah, middle finger extended, yada yada…

Oh, but wait – it gets better.

The town’s selectmen have already decided that Crabtree’s business, if and when he rebuilds, would be grandfathered – so long as he builds just what he had before, which was your average, run-of-the-mill topless coffee and donut shop.

Take THAT, you pious nosy fuckers!

So, let me get this straight – these prudish wackos have made a new rule that will basically help Crabtree’s business – he will have a monopoly, however small, in his town on adult-oriented business.  This will actually make his business even more unique and desirable – and, as a result, it will bring even more of these immoral riff raff types into the town who enjoy coffee like they enjoy their women – with boobs.

The crazy thing is if the waitstaff at the Grand View were male, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.  At all.  What the fuck is up with that?


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