Jugs and java!

January 8, 2009

Well, my beloved state is in the news again, and this time, it’s juicy as hell!

Donald Crabtree of Ellsworth, Maine, wants to convert Vassalboro’s old Grand View Motel into – get this – a topless coffee shop!

Of course, public opinion in the small town is polarized, with some saying outrageous things like, “Well, my daughter catches the bus down the street from there, so I think it’s a bad idea” and others saying things like, “Who cares?  We all need to make a living.”

Seriously, though, why do these prudish small-town people think that this “sort of place” would attract “the wrong crowd”?  I don’t know of too many straight men who don’t enjoy looking at a nice rack.  Aren’t we all, then, surrounded by “the wrong crowd”?  Why not give this “crowd” a place to congregate and drink – of all things – coffee?

But, at the moment, Crabtree is in luck, because the planning board unanimously approved the proposal.

I just hope they come up with a cute name for the place.

Like Jugs ‘n’ Java.

Or Hoes ‘n’ Joe.

Or Bean Brew ‘n’ Boobs.

I can just hear the men of Vassalboro now:  “Sure, honey, I don’t mind running into town and getting you a coffee.”

4 Responses to “Jugs and java!”

  1. Minds Erased Says:

    I can just picture legions of Mormons storming their steps, screaming about morality and decency. And then going home and screwing their five wives.

  2. Mardé Says:

    Yeah, that’s a good one, Minds. And there are a lot of young Mormons wandering around Maine trying to “do good”. Let’s suggest they sweep the floors at the “Coffee Cafe Boobies for Bubbas at Vassalboro” like they do at the Maine churches after luncheons. ha ha ha? A test for young Mormons? Keep yer eyes on the floor, Bub!

  3. Mardé Says:

    How about “The Busy Boobs Coffee Cafe for Friendly Bubbas”?

    Hey, this is hitting the big time! See the Boston Globe this morning!

    Oh boy, Vassalboro and Maine can become famous…. (even before the prudes and religious nuts win the day)! Go Crabtree, Go!

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