Catching up on belly-aching.

Well, faithful readers, needless to say, I’ve been a bit distracted lately by other things.   But don’t you worry – there is no shortage of vitriol in this latest installment.  I’ll need to hit a few topics, so pardon the wandering.

1.  First of all, it is of course the Christmas season, probably my least favorite time of the year.  Why, do you ask?  Because of how arbitrary and soul-sucking it truly is.  Think about it – you, like millions of others, are probably stressing about what to buy for whom, where to buy it, how much it will cost, how you can’t afford it, while standing in line at lifeless box stores thinking about it all, and why?  Because once upon a time, some religious nutcases decided to celebrate some kid’s birthday around the same time that a bunch of pagans were being burned at the stake for celebrating the winter solstice?  Give me a fucking break.  Christmas is complete and utter bullshit.  Do what I did and drop out altogether – and enjoy the time off with the people you love the most without feeling obligated.  Life is way too short for that kind of shit.

2.  Who gives a shit about Tiger fucking Woods?  I don’t.  So he cheated on his wife.  Big fucking deal.  A lot of guys do.   Gals, too.  That’s because monogamy  is a wholly unrealistic expectation that humans place on each other.  So, let’s all admit that we’re human and we like to fuck each other, sometimes without the presence of love and romance.   And because of his actions, Tiger’s sponsors are pulling out (so to speak, heh).  Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.  You don’t think the CEOs of some of these hotshot companies don’t have a line of mistresses pulling down their stockings outside their office doors?  Puhleeze.

3.  Obama gets the Nobel PEACE Prize and then says “Hey, let’s send a shitload more troops to Afghanistan.  I think it will work.”  Yeah, that makes fucking sense.  Whatever happened to “you cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war”?  Oh wait, that was Einstein who said that.  A fucking genius.   I’ve been regretting my vote for Obama for some time now, but hey – at least he’s not McCain.  Ain’t democracy grand?

4.  Some 8 year old kid in Massachusetts got sent home from school this week for drawing a picture of Jesus on the cross with Xs on the eyes.   The class was asked to draw something pertaining to the holidays, and this is what he came up with.  Wrong holiday, kid – that’s the bloodthirst-quenching holiday of Easter you depicted.  You missed it by a few months.  Ah well.  He was inspired by a recent family visit to some wacko Christian retreat in his neck of the woods.  The school want to have him psychologically evaluated because of the “violent” nature of his drawing.   Well, duh!  I think anyone who fixates on some dead dude nailed to a cross ought to have their head examined.  And people are just starting to the figure this out now?   That perhaps we shouldn’t be exposing our children to this kind of religious mind-fuckery?  Christopher Hitchens calls it child abuse for a reason, folks.

Well, that’s it for now.  Maybe I’ll be back again soon.  Stay tuned.

Nobel Shnobel.

Everyone’s asking, “Does Obama deserve the Nobel?” to which I say, “Who gives a shit?”

Deserve?  How should I know?  The Nobel award is bestowed upon those who show potential for creating change towards a more peaceful world.  Oh yeah, you mean people like Yasser Arafat?  Give me a fucking break.

The Nobel is like the Grammy Awards.  It’s not really based on merit – it’s a fucking popularity contest.

If you really want to know, I think Obama shouldn’t have gotten it.  In fact, I think it would have been funny if he had refused it and cleared his golden throat and said, “Listen.. no offense, fellas, but I think I’ve got enough going on here.  Just let me do my fucking job, as difficult as that already is.”

I mean, come on, enough with the Obama savior worship already!  The Nobel is just another huge weight to put on his shoulders.  With everything else on his plate, does he need the title of “Nobel Laureate” to live up to as well?

No, Joe. YOU lie!

So, everyone is screaming about how Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.) was rude and disrespectful and blah blah blah during Obama’s speech on Wednesday night.

OK, agreed.  Shouting “You lie!” at the president during a joint session with Congress, televised live to the whole planet, takes some nut.

But isn’t it within this guy’s right to express himself?

Personally, yes, I think the guy is a rude crude bastard.  I disagree with his politics and he’s got some nerve.  But why aren’t any of the bleeding hearts defending this guy’s right to express himself?  What about the Repugs who sat there thumbing through their Blackberries and waving bits of legislation in the air?  Sure it sucks, and it’s a bit childish and downright thuggish, but don’t they have the right to express themselves in this way?

Do I think their behavior helps in any way?  Towards Obama’s larger goal of finding common ground,  I should think not.  But, if – and that’s a big IF – these guys are properly representing their respective constituencies, then fine.  Say whatever the hell you want.  Ain’t that why we sent these bastards to Washington in the first place?  To speak for us?  If Rep. Wilson is merely expressing his district’s voice, then by all means, get the guy a friggin’ bullhorn.

And the apology?  This is the worst of it.  All this “saving face” bullshit.  He extends “sincere apologies to the President for this lack of civility”.  Jesus, what a load of shit if I ever heard it.   No he doesn’t!  Are we really to believe this?  So insincere.  Now who’s lying?  I am actually more offended by the apology than by the outburst.  Yes, the outburst was shocking.  But isn’t a little honesty what we really need?  I really don’t mind the name-calling and the shouting and the heckling – hell, it makes things  a little more exciting and interesting if you ask me.  It breaks up the same old same old.  It gave us all something to talk about, didn’t it?

Fly in the face of reason.

Let me preface this post with a little bit about myself (although I’ve touched on this before):  I am a vegan, which means I do not eat any animal products whatsoever.  No meat, no dairy, etc.  You’ve all met at least one crazy, skinny, hippy-dippy stoner vegan in your time, am I right?

But I’m not one of those vegans.  I don’t go around screaming and yelling about the cruelties of the factory farm industry.  I keep my opinions to myself, largely because people are SO damned sensitive about what they eat.  You should hear the apologies I hear from people who are eating meat around me:  “Oh, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t be eating this in front of you… you know, I don’t eat that much red meat..” etc etc.  I’m sure fellow vegans and vegetarians can relate.  But you can eat a 5 pound rare ribeye right in front of me and I don’t give a shit.  Why?  Oh, because I’m a live-and-let-die sort of person.  Do what you want, it’s your body.

Don’t get me wrong, though – nothing boils my blood or nauseates me quite like animal cruelty.  It is beyond despicable to me.  Those now-and-again news reports you hear of people leaving dogs and cats in cages in large numbers to starve to death… I can’t even tell you how much that kind of shit enrages me.  And I don’t have any pets (the reasons for which are perhaps fodder for a future post – stay tuned) but puppies and baby cows and ducks and kittens get me all warm and fuzzy.

But I am certainly not a card-carrying member of PETA.  Yes, I believe animals have rights – but I don’t shoo every house fly and mosquito out the door.  No sir.  If a tick or a mosquito or a fly lands of me, it’s gonzo for the poor little bastard.

Can you even believe the wackos over at PETA are calling Obama to the carpet for killing that fly?  Honest to christ, what the fuck is wrong with these people?  Sorry – being a Jain and tiptoeing around in life wearing a gauze mask in front of your unwashed face is not my idea of loftiness.  I’m far from perfect – but what I do works for me and I’m not harming anyone – except that I eat what I’m willing to kill.  Life is about extracting life from the living things around you – it’s called survival.  I mean, we’re human mammals, for crying out loud.

These guys have never heard of Photoshop?

Let me get this straight – the White House really needed new photos of Air Force One, so they flew low over Manhattan and scared the shit out of a bunch of people.  About $400,000 was blown on this little joyride, and all for this unspectacular shot?

You mean to tell me these fuckers have never heard of Photoshop?  Could’ve saved a lot of money and lot of grief.  But what do I know?  I’m one of the poor shmucks who paid the bill for this bullshit.